Mom's Talk: Is Halloween Too Scary or Too Sexy?

Halloween has arrived and nowadays children and adults have endless choices when it comes to costumes.

But some parents we've chatted with have voiced concerns over shorter hems and scarier costumes.

So we asked some Newark Patch moms about their thoughts on whether costumes are too suggestive and too gory. Here’s what they had to say and their advice on how to find solutions:

Jennifer Makin, mom of two
I've got two boys, ages 6 and 3.  Their choices for Halloween costumes this year are a motocross rider and Thomas the Train, respectively. They are still young enough that most costume options for them are not too grotesque, but my older child was leaning toward a skeleton or a ninja before he spotted the motocross costume at the store. Although he entered his costume shopping adamant he wanted to be a skeleton, even the costumes for children were a bit over the top for him.

Part of his decision-making came into play because his cousin has Sensory Processing Disorder and is over-responsive to sensation, which makes our family more aware of all the scariness involved with Halloween.  It has gotten to a point where he does not participate in Halloween activities at all anymore – he's 6 ½  and is too scared to enjoy a children's fun holiday.

Because the options for kids have become gorier than they used to be, it makes it even more difficult to enjoy this holiday for what it was when I was a kid. As with most decisions I make as a parent, I know that I have some control over what my children are allowed to do - as they get older this will prove to be more difficult, but at this point I help them feel like small compromises can be made.  Even as we browsed the skeleton and ninja costumes, there were some that I simply told my 6-year-old were off limits.

Lorie Mohs, mom of two

I do believe that the costumes of today are much more suggestive than when I was a child. The costumes for girls are items that we would have seen in the window of Fredrick’s of Hollywood, while the boys seem to have more options, some gory and some not. To avoid some of the new trends in costumes, I offer to custom make their costumes every year. While this does take more planning than a visit to the , it allows my boys to use their imagination and create any character they would like to be. This is also a great way to spend more time with my children.

When I was a child, I was able to create my costumes. I think my favorite costume was when I was a banana and went out with my sisters as the Fruit of the Loom Bunch.  We had a great time!

Brandi Wecks, mom of one

My 1-year-old hasn't shown any problem with her bumblebee costume, but as a teacher, I have seen many kids come to school dressed in very revealing or violence-oriented costumes. No child should be sent to school with any kind of fake weapon, no matter what they are "pretending" to be. Kids should not be imitating anything on Halloween that you wouldn't want them imitating any other day. Costumes should be imaginative and fun! When I was little, my most memorable costume was Vincent Van Gogh – maybe a bit gory with a ketchup-covered ear on a palette, but I thought it was funny.

Jennifer Spedowfski-Martin, mom of five

I think there is more of a problem with the costumes for girls being too sexy.  I do see some gory ones for boys, but the market isn’t flooded with gory costumes like it is with the more sexy costumes for girls. For some reason, manufacturers think it is more acceptable in this day and age to market these costumes that rival stripper outfits to young girls. The current pop culture shows girls a lot more skin than it used to.

I have found that talking to my children early (like September instead of last minute) about what they want to wear on Halloween helps. That way we’re not stuck with whatever is left, which is often not appropriate. Another option is to stick to stores that are geared for children, like Toys ‘R’ Us.  If you go to the Halloween stores or even Wal-Mart you will find the more adult costumes. However, Wal-Mart does try to stock some age-appropriate costumes for kids, you just have to dig some.

Lastly, suggesting to your children what they might want to be (i.e. a favorite character on TV or in cartoons, a profession based on their hobbies like artist or librarian, etc.) goes a long way toward keeping the inappropriate costumes out of their sights for Halloween. As a child, I wore costumes you could find at the local Payless (such as Casper the Ghost or Wendy the Witch). A lot of hand-me-down costumes because I was the youngest of three girls. I was growing up in the 80s, so it wasn’t as bad now as it is now. The worse you could do then was try to dress up as Madonna or Cyndi Lauper.

Tammy Warren-Alcorta, mom of five

As a parent of five kids, my oldest being 10 and my youngest being 4-year-old twins, I tell them or actually my 10-year-old daughter this: I am the parent and I must approve of how you dress, what you wear until the age of 18, so make your choices good ones or you will be changing your clothes or costume ‘til I approve.

Yes, costumes are way too sexy. The goriness doesn’t bother me because that’s what Halloween is about. But the sexiness has got to stop. Parents need to put their foot down on what they let their kids wear. When I was a kid, our costumes were the plastic kind or homemade like a punk rocker.

My children this year are a witch devil, two Spider-mans and Buzz Light Year. I make sure my kids are fully clothed like they would be for school. Their dress code at school is also in effect for home and Halloween. As parents, we decide what our children wear until they are 18. It doesn’t matter if it’s for dress up or not. There are too many predators out there.